Your Actions are Crucial in Providing Great Dementia Care

Posted by Steve Jones

Watching your parent decline from worsening dementia is heartbreaking.
Alzheimers is one of about fifty varieties of dementia, and depending
upon the type of dementia and the area of damage in the brain, you will
see a variety of symptoms and changes.

Except for some major physical and behavioral markers, there is no way
to predict how your loved one will suffer from this disease or how fast
they will decline. Therefore, dementia care is an ongoing process of learning
to provide the care needed which will help you cope and prevent burnout.

Declining Memory

Their Behavior

The rule of thumb is that short-term memories and those with little emotional
relevance are the first to go: a phone call 15 minutes ago, where the
clean clothes were put, how to work the new stove, remembering to take
a bath. Long-term memories that do have an emotional component are retained
the longest, but most times folks will need a prompting reminder.

Your Action

If your loved one becomes anguished by their inability to recognize something
they know they should remember,
change the subject. People with dementia are easily distractible, and its best to
do that with something you know will make them smile.

Get used to the fact that you will need to constantly remind your loved
one of just about everything. Learning to accept this reality will reduce
your irritation with them. Talk to your loved one calmly without barking
orders, giving one piece of instruction at a time. Wait for the completion
of that task before giving them the next instruction. Never give choices.
They will always do better following your stepwise direction. Its
better to say, Lets go get you a shower, than Do
you want a shower or a bath?

Delusions and Hallucinations

Their Behavior

A common theme is the accusation that someone is stealing from them. This
usually happens because they cant find what they are looking for
or cant remember what belongs to them. Many times they will believe
they saw someone or something hiding near them. These situations will
cause them to become distraught.

Your Action

Always show them you are taking their concerns seriously. Let them see
you search for what they think they have lost or think they have seen
will calm them down and make it easier for you to distract and redirect
them to another topic or activity.

Constant Pacing or Walking

Your Action

Dont try to stop them, rather find a safe place for them to continue
this activity. Many times this behavior is self-calming. If you find this
activity occurs at night, consider their lifetime sleep habits before
trying to make them stay in bed.

Agitation

Their Behavior

Many times, physical problems can be the cause of unwanted behaviors. A
headache, toothache or even or ingrown toenail are examples of painful
situations that will be expressed as agitation. Look for telltale signs
such as holding their hand to their head, putting fingers in their mouth,
or kicking their shoe off.

Your Action

Your body language and attitude is the most important tool. Keep your attitude
positive and loving with a genuine smile. Keep background noise to a minimum,
such as the TV or radio, when you are talking. They are so sensitive to
loud sounds, it alone can cause unwanted behaviors.

Take your loved one to the bathroom on a schedule of every 2 hours which
will prevent incontinence and the agitation associated with their discomfort
and unrecognized need to void.

It is a distressing loss to watch your parent or spouse change into what
seems like a different person, many times losing all connection with them
by the end. The best dementia care means not trying to change the person,
but rather provide a loving, safe and supportive environment.