How To Deal With Resistance To Home Care

One of the biggest hurdles you can face when helping a loved one is resistance
to care. How can you help someone who doesnt want help?

By keeping them involved in decisions and explaining the benefits of home
care, you may be able to help your loved one feel more comfortable about
accepting the help they need.

What is behind their resistance to home care?

A person who needs care is probably dealing with loss of some kind ”
loss of mental abilities, loss of physical abilities or the loss of independence.
Accepting care means acknowledging that loss.

Allowing caregivers into your home also means losing some privacy and the
need to adjust to new routines.

All of these things may cause your loved one to feel vulnerable and frightened.
They may also feel angry about needing help, or feel guilty about burdening
their family and friends. They may be worried about the cost of care.
Some may also believe that accepting help is a sign of weakness.

How to approach your loved one about the need for care

You may be reluctant to bring up the topic if you suspect that they are
going to be resistant about their need for care. To start the dialogue….

Chose the right time. Make sure you are both relaxed and comfortable and arent rushed.
This will make communicating easier.

Ask about their preferences. Its extremely important that they have a say in the matter. Decisions
should be made with their input.

Bring support. Ask family members and friends to join you for this conversation. Their
backing may help persuade your loved one to accept the help being offered.

Stay the course. If your loved one is completely unwilling to discuss their care, try again
another time.

How to convey the need for care

Getting a person to accept help they dont want is very challenging.
Try to …

• Stay focused on the big picture. Pick your battles. Dont argue with them about minor care-related
  issues. The small details can wait.
• Do a trial run. Suggest a temporary trial so they can test the waters of home care and
  experience the benefits for themselves before committing.
• Explain your position. You may want to let your loved one know that if they accepted care, it
  would make your life a little easier. That this is something you need as well.
• Ask a professional. If your loved one is more likely to listen to the advice of a doctor,
  arrange a meeting to discuss care options with them.
• Explain how care prolongs independence. Discuss how accepting home care may help them maintain more independence
  by allowing them to remain in their own home for as long as possible.

If you are dealing with a person with dementia, these strategies and methods
may not be appropriate.

You may need to take steps to protect your loved one if they continue to
refuse care and are endangering themselves. If it becomes necessary, consider
consulting a lawyer familiar with elder care issues to discuss your options.