Generational Trauma & Healing

Sadie heard Marco yell at night occasionally when he slept. She asked him about it one night shortly after they became engaged. Marco clammed up when she asked. He said it was nothing. But Sadie knew he was just afraid. He would sometimes joke about how he grew up, moving houses every few months. When they ate dinner, he would finish quickly, often frantically. Once he mentioned that frequently as a child he didn’t have a lot to eat. He’d talk about his father’s drinking, and how his friends would come over and cause trouble for his mother. But Sadie didn’t know the whole story of his family. She’d recently learned about the concept of generational trauma in her psychology class at university, and wondered if her boyfriend’s family had more skeletons in the closet than he even realized. 

Everyone deserves to understand their family history. But not all stories are known to descendants of families. Oftentimes, it takes a major incident in life, like an illness, a death, a divorce, or other incident that causes grief, to open up and begin to search the inner landscape of family history. 

Many people experience traumas in their lives, of many different kinds, from childhood neglect and emotional pain, to major accidents, to veterans with PTSD, to an abusive romantic relationship. One type of trauma that has come into the collective consciousness more recently is generational trauma. Generational trauma is, according to this 2021 Psychology Today article, Breaking the Chains of Generational Trauma, a type of trauma that “does not end with the individual. . .  Instead it lingers and gnaws through one generation to the next.”

Families who have unresolved traumas, like Black Americans whose ancestors experienced slavery in the United States, children of First Nations survivors of residential schools in Canada, and descendants of individuals who survived the Holocaust, often pass along trauma that lingers through the generations. When one family member experiences torture, capture, depression, war, etc. and is unable to heal themselves, the imprint is passed along to their children.

Identifying the signs of generational trauma

Family patterns like anxiety, mistrust, depression, addiction, issues with self-esteem and other negative coping strategies are signs that generational trauma may exist in a family. Trauma can impact the body in physical ways as well, like autoimmune diseases that are carried through generations. Many families experience poverty, chronic stress, and instability due to trauma, and this impacts children and how they develop. 

According to the Psychology Today article, oppressive circumstances in a parent’s life can contribute to a survival message ― like not asking for help ― that is taught and passed down to children. The message that was initially protective can cause generations onward to have “a fearful and distrustful outlook on life and towards helping professionals, further alienating the support that is to overcome the aftermath of the trauma itself.”
Stress caused by trauma has many dire impacts on the body. A 2021 CBC feature, How residential school trauma of previous generations continues to tear through Indigenous families, writes that “Childhood abuse can disrupt that stress response for life, leading to consistently high levels of cortisol.” This can cause heart disease, chronic pain, diabetes and hypertension. Stress that is chronic lowers people’s resilience and immune function, and increases the risks of depression and mental illness.

Break the cycle

Just as trauma can pass through generations, so can healing and resilience. If you are noticing some of the symptoms above, and have questions about your family history, the first step is to open up a conversation with family members. It can be a great relief to children to understand the traumas that their parents and grandparents experienced. This is because it makes individuals feel more connected to share what they are carrying with others. Trauma is so damaging because it is a separation of the self. Connecting the self through talk therapy, community connections, and group work is incredibly important. 

Thanks to neuroplasticity, we all have the ability to break embedded patterns, attitudes, and to re-write narratives and create a new future. There are many ways to cope with trauma, including energetic healing like reiki, EMDR healing for PTSD with a licensed psychologist, and processing through healthy lifestyle practices like exercise, yoga and meditation. Through these practices, a greater sense of empathy for family and the self can be created. This makes it more possible to write a new narrative about the family ― a holistic narrative which honors the resilience of the family, while acknowledging the harm done. 

A year went by, and Marco’s occasional night terrors did not end. Finally, Sadie convinced him to open up. Marco had discovered that his grandparents had been killed in Spain, during the civil war, in front of his father. Marco didn’t know, until finally, he asked his mother more about the history of that time. Suddenly, the connections began to make sense to Marco, of the feelings of terror he felt throughout his life, and the neglect he experienced as a child. And even though this was just the beginning, an opening for healing had indeed occurred.

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